My 20's had some great times and I achieved a lot. I served, (the majority of) an LDS mission, I got married, I graduated from college, I got my first career job, (and my second), and I went to Disneyland for the first time. I lived on the East Coast, Portland, Idaho, and Utah. There are too many good things to mention, but the list does go on.
My 20's also had some difficult times. One of my best friends died in a car accident, my Grandma passed away, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Sadly, the list also goes on, but the good times far outnumber the bad.
I have thought about what I have learned in 30 years. What kinds of things can I build upon. what kind of things can I share with others. Below is my list of 30 lessons I have learned in 30 years. I hope you enjoy.
1. ENJOY THE JOURNEY
Life will have many events to look forward to; graduations, parties, holidays, sports, weddings, vacations, and so much more. However, life has far more days that are filled with mundane routines and things we have to do, as opposed to things we want to do. If you want to find happiness in life, enjoy the journey, find something you enjoy on those mundane filled days, do things that will make you happy day after day.
From the movie The Music Man “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering.”
Live life to it’s fullest, make today worth remembering and enjoy the journey.
2. DON'T SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL WORTHLESS
There are bullies in the world, it’s not just a schoolyard thing, There are people that will make you feel worthless. When it happens, it can get under your skin and make you think twice about who you are. If you find yourself in this position, get out. This might mean you need to sit down with the person and work things out together, but sometimes you need to stop spending time with people that make you feel small and insignificant.
It isn't easy doing this. It could mean finding new friends, or changing your current situation, but it’s worth it. Life is too short to spend time with people that make you feel worthless. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and want you to succeed.
3. LIVE THE GOLDEN RULE
4. LOVE
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
― Moulin Rouge.
5. GET OUT OF DEBT
Getting into debt is easy. In our society, we want the biggest TV, the nice car, the perfect house, name brand clothes, the latest technology; and we want it right now. Saving money has become a lost art. If someone wants something they just charge it to their credit card, or take out a loan. I am not saying credit cards and loans are bad, I have a credit card that I pay off, in full, every month, and I believe a modest mortgage loan or car loan are sometimes necessary.
Staying out of debt can be a challenge. It means sacrificing things you want and things you thought you needed. It means downsizing, and using your money smarter. You have to budget carefully and, if applicable, talk to your spouse frequently about your financial situation.
From (LDS) President J. Ruben Clark “Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation. Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.”
With the exception of a modest mortgage and a modest car loan, no material possession is worth going into debt over. Get out of debt and strive to live debt free.
Link to LDS talk “Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts”: http://bit.ly/1vMai6z
6. SAVING IS GREAT, BUT SPENDING CAN BE GOOD TOO
This title might sound contradictory to my last thought… let me explain. A friend gave me some wise advice. He said, “Traveling is one of the few things that you spend money on that makes you richer.”
I am an advocate of saving money and living within your means, however, sometimes money needs to be spent to make life richer. This could mean investing in education, spending money for a hobby, or (in the case of my friend) saving money to go on a nice vacation.
In other words, don’t squander your money, save it, live within your means, and, when the occasion arises, spend it on something of real value.
7. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, EVEN IF IT SEEMS SILLY TO OTHERS
I love Legos. I collect sets and I build things from my imagination. Some people might think it’s silly that a 30 year old man still plays with Legos, but the fact of the matter is, Legos are a hobby that I enjoy.
Everyone has things they like that might seem silly to others. Be true to who you are and do things that you enjoy doing, even if it is a little silly. Respect others; if someone enjoys something that you find odd, don’t judge them, let them be who they are and let them enjoy what they want to enjoy.
8. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME DOING THINGS YOU DON'T ENJOY
On the flip side of “Doing things you enjoy.” Don’t do things you don’t enjoy. When I was growing up I would occasionally watch a football game and I would try to seem informed about football. It wasn't until high school that I realized I don’t like football. I still don’t know all the rules, and I find the sport extremely boring. In fact, according to a Wall Street Journal study of four recent broadcasts, and similar estimates by researchers, "In a typical 174 minute NFL broadcast, the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field is about 11 minutes." 11 minutes... What are they doing the other 163 minutes? Huddles, replays, commercials, and interviews.
OK, I’m off my soap box… The point is, I stopped wasting my time pretending I like something I didn’t. There is no shame in not liking something. Just because someone else likes it, doesn’t mean you have to. Live life doing things you enjoy doing.
Link to the Wall Street article: http://on.wsj.com/1BemlLL
9. TUNE OUT THE NAYSAYERS
There will always be people that say you can’t do something. Sometimes it could be your own doubts. If you want to do something, don’t listen to the naysayers. Believe in yourself and go after your dreams. It might take time, and it might be difficult, but if you are dedicated to something, it can become a reality, no matter what others say.
10. MAKE HEALTH A PRIORITY
Making health a priority doesn't mean no sweets and an hour a day at the gym, it means taking good care of your body. Eat your fruits and veggies, get off the couch and move around. You don’t have to be the fastest runner or the strongest person. If you take care of your body and make health a priority, you will have a higher quality of life now and (especially) when you get older.
11. GET MARRIED, BUT DON'T RUSH INTO IT
I don’t say this to boast, but I married well. I hope that everyone can be as happy in their marriage as I am in mine. Marriage is a blessing and a joy, Statistically married people live longer, are healthier, and are happier than their single counterparts. However, marriage is something that should be taken seriously. Don’t rush into marriage, and don’t let anyone tell you to speed up the process.
12. EDUCATE YOURSELF
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
― Nelson Mandela
13. BELIEVE IN SOMETHING
14. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
Last year I went to my first real concert. The band was one of my favorites: Bastille. I was excited to see them live, but I was a little nervous about being packed in a crowded room with a lot of people. I get really uncomfortable around large groups of people, especially when that large group of people is sweaty and loud and rubbing shoulders with me.
When all was said and done however, the crowd didn’t bother me that much, and the concert was amazing. If I would have let the uncomfortable parts of the situation stop me from going to the concert, I would have missed out on a fun night, and one of the best shows I have ever been to.
15. CHANGE IS GOOD
16. READ
I didn’t always like reading. My Mom tried to get me excited about it, but it didn't interest me. But Harry Potter changed all that. Since I was introduced to Harry Potter, when I was about 16, I have enjoyed reading. Books are a portal to other worlds and they have helped me understand people of other faiths, races, and cultures. I believe it is good for the mind to read.
“If you don’t like to read, you haven’t found the right book.” ― J.K. Rowling
17. BE OPEN MINDED
People do things differently and enjoy different things; and that’s OK. Learn from these differences, be open minded about things that are foreign to you. Maybe someone will recommend a great book you never would have read, maybe someone does something a better way than you, maybe you will make a new friend that is (heaven forbid) different than you, or maybe you will try a fantastic cuisine that seems strange. Being open minded can provide a greater understanding of the world and the people around you. We are not all cut from the same mold, we all have our own experiences and personalities. You can become a well rounded individual by simply being open minded and trying new things.
Please note: being open minded does not mean giving up your personal standards and/or beliefs, stay true to yourself.
18. RESPECT YOURSELF
19. DON'T SCARE PEOPLE
Unless you work for a haunted house or are in a horror film, don’t do it.
20. PUT DOWN THE PHONE, DANG IT!
Smart phones are a great tool, but they can also distract you from relationships, responsibilities, and life. Next time you are with your friends and/or family, put your phone in a technology timeout. Play a game with someone, have a real conversation, pay attention to the people you are with, and live in the moment, not away from the moment.
21. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD
22. QUITTING DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FAILURE
Societies definition of the word “Quitting” would be better paired with the phrase “Giving up.” The Middle English definition of “quit” is to set free. I don’t view quitting as a negative thing; in my opinion, quitting means you have given something your very best, and you have nothing left to give; and in that moment it is appropriate to move on.
23. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID
Never hold back emotions and lock things inside, good or bad.
24. WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING, DRIVE
Careless drivers are often distracted drivers. When you get behind the wheel, driving should be your main focus. Careless or reckless driving endangers you and your passengers and other drivers on the road.
This principle also applies in life. Focus on what you are doing, if it’s family life, be with your family, if it’s work, do your work, if you're driving, drive. Don’t let things of less importance distract you from doing what you are doing; you might regret it later.
25. GIVE SERVICE
Service doesn't mean doing a service project, and it doesn't mean doing something for a stranger, although those kinds of service are great. Service can be holding the door open, or vacuuming without being told. Too often we look at service as a grandiose event, when really all it is, is lifting someone’s burden. Service can be simple, it can be spontaneous, and it can be something enjoyable.
26. DON'T PLAY THE GAME "KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES'"
Be an individual. Be yourself. Don’t pretend you're something you're not.
27. CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAME
Names are important. They are part of someone's identity. If someone goes by Nathan, don't assume they go by Nate, or if someone goes by Megan, don't assume they go by Meg. People tend to respond better when addressed by their name and calling someone by their name is a form of respect.
28. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SNOW, BUILD A SNOWMAN
29. LISTEN TO OTHERS
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
― Bryant H. McGill
30. BE A BUILDER, NOT A WRECKER
As I watched them tear a building down
A gang of men in a busy town
With a ho-heave-ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and the side wall fell
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.”
“I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself, as I went my way
Which of these roles have I tried to play'
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan
Patiently doing the best I can'
Or am I a wrecker who walks to town
Content with the labor of tearing down?
“O Lord let my life and my labors be
That which will build for eternity!”
― Author Unknown
