Detours

Few things can be more frustrating than driving somewhere, only to have to take a different route because of construction or an accident. Often detours are confusing and make you wonder how your going to get back on track. Such is the case with life. Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn, or you might find yourself in a situation that is only temporary. This could come in the form of an illness, a difficult semester in school, or maybe something is taking you longer than you anticipated. We all have our own life detours that remove us from the path we are on. The road we take to get to point B can feel like the road to point Q. My life recently took a huge detour. At times it was difficult and confusing, but I really enjoyed it.

I used to work for a great company. I had great benefits, several paid holidays, two weeks vacation, a five minute commute, and I was a graphic designer, just what I wanted to do. However, without going into detail, circumstances changed and I didn't feel welcome anymore. The time had come to look for new employment. After months of looking for a new job, I found a graphic design position with a construction company. The pay was comparable, but I was going to take a major hit on other benefits, plus my commute was going to be 35-45 minutes. Despite this, I took the job because it seemed like a good opportunity.

I really enjoyed the work, I was given creative freedom that I wasn't accustomed to and I got to work on some really fun projects. In addition to the work, there was a fooseball table and a dart board, we went to a racetrack and raced cars, and the company Christmas party was held in a suite at a Utah Jazz game. I was able to do several things that I otherwise would not have been able to do.

Onsite for a video shoot 

I knew early in my employment that the job was a detour, a temporary workplace. As a graphic designer, there isn't a lot to do at a construction company, and there wasn't much room to grow. I was working at a job, not my career. Now, seven short months since starting my construction job, I have accepted a much better offer. The pay and benefits are better, and I get my five minute commute back.

The company creates learning material for elementary schools. I received my BS in Communication with an emphasis in Graphic Design and I minored in Education. This new job will be great because I get to do what I love for a company that has a purpose I can support.

Life's detours, like driving detours, can be confusing and frustrating, but eventually the detour will put you back on the path you need to be on. Enjoy the ride.

Lent

This year I decided to participate in Lent. I'm not doing it for religious reasons, I am doing it because I wanted to test myself. I decided to do something easy, go without soda. I am not a big soda drinker, I maybe have three sodas a month. Going without soda has been much more difficult than I thought. There have been occasions that I have craved it... I have never really crave soda. I have found that my craving is situational. For example, Lauren and I grilled the other day. Normally I would crack open a Root Beer or a Dr Pepper, but I couldn't. Another example is we went to our favorite gluten free pizza place in Park City; they have Apple Beer. I always get a drink if a restaurant has Apple Beer, but this time I couldn't. I realize that those examples both revolve around food, but sometimes it's nice to have a soda instead of dessert, I like to drink my calories.

This soda fast has not spawned a desire to never drink soda, nor do I think I am addicted to it. However, I am looking forward to April 2nd, the day Lent is over, when I can crack open a cold Root Brewski.

If you participated in Lent, please let me know what you gave up. Write your response in the comments.

Two months with Fitbit

I got an entry level fitness band at Costco a couple of years ago because I wanted to track how much I walked each day. The fitness band worked OK, and did what I needed it to do, but it was bulky and had minimal features. I decided I wanted something a little more robust, something that had more capabilities than just tracking steps. After doing research and price comparison, I decided to go with a Fitbit Charge. Fitness bands are not for everyone; even if you are in the market for a fitness band, the Fitbit may not be for you. There are many types of fitness bands that do different things.

I have had my Fitbit Charge for almost two months; here is my review

PROS
Cost: The Fitbit Charge retails at $129.99. I found mine on a black Friday deal for $99.99. I also used my Target Red Card and got an additional 5% off; making it $95.00.

Lightweight: As I mentioned before, I had another fitness band that was bulky. The Fitbit is lightweight and much thinner than my previous fitness band.

Wireless Syncing: This is one feature that I love! You would think this is a given with fitness bands, but it's not. All the data syncs wirelessly to my phone. I don't have to think about plugging it in to the computer or keeping a log myself, it does it all for me.

Tracking: The Fitbit Charge tracks steps, distance, calories, flights of stairs, active minutes, and sleep (without putting it in sleep mode). It also tracks food & water intake and weight, but it does those manually (therefore I don't track those, I hate tracking my food). I can also record my exercizes. If I go for a walk, jog, or hike, the Fitbit will track where I have gone and input the data into my phone.

The app: The app is great. It keeps track of my activity on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. This is helpful because it helps I can see my progress (or lack of).

Badges and social: Sometimes Fitbit will reward you with a badge for completing so many steps or being active for so long. You can also challenge friends to a challenge and get a badge that way. The badges are a way to keep you motivated against yourself, and the social aspect adds a little friendly competition into the mix.

Caller ID: The Fitbit Charge (and other models) have show you on the little screen who is calling you. I don't use this feature a ton, but it is nice.

CONS
The wristband: I fit both the large and the small. I have the large band, and it is almost the tightest it will go. On the small band, I can have it the largest it will go. I wish there was a size in-between.

Lauren has a Fitbit Flex, and with hers you can take out the "brains" of it and change out the band, or put it in your pocket. The Fitbit Charge doesn't have that option. The band is not interchangeable, nor do the "brains" come out.

I think I like the traditional style wristband that is on the Fitbit Charge HR, as opposed to the clasp style wristband on the Fitbit Charge.

It could track other things: I don't view this as a negative myself, but other people might. It doesn't track some activities in real time like swimming or cycling; you can manually add them in later. This isn't a negative for me, because I don't do a lot of those activitiies, but like I said, it might be a negative for others.

A Challenge to Introverts...Follow-up

Here is my follow-up from my original post "A Challenge for Introverts." (Please see below for the complete post.)

The first thing I did during my week of no small talk and more meaningful conversations was I did away with senseless conversations and tried to either steer the conversations deeper, or avoided them all together.

I talked to one of my co-workers at lunch. We didn't talk about the weather or work related topics, I got to know her a little better as a person. I learned that she grew up on a cattle ranch in Driggs, Idaho. She told me she loves to play in the snow and she is sad that she didn't really get to play in it this year, because it was a lousy year for snow. Growing up, she would make mazes in her backyard with all the snow, and she remembers the walls of the maze were as tall as she was. That isn't too hard to do when your a child and less than four feet tall. She loves chocolate milk, and her life is her Grandkids. She has seven Grandkids all under the age of nine, and they all live close to her, so she gets to see them often.

Overall the week went well. I had less awkward conversations about nothing, and more meaningful conversations.


ORIGINAL POST...

I am an introvert in every meaning of the word. I prefer intimate settings over large (and loud) groups, I have only a few close friends at a time, and I prefer staying in and having a relaxing evening. I do occasionally go outside my introvert bubble. I've been to NBA games, company parties, dances, amusement parks, and so on... I even worked retail.

I do not feel that being an introvert is debilitating, but I know that I occasionally miss out on opportunities. I'm not afraid to go somewhere that involves being with a large group or somewhere that has a million things going on, but I know that in those moments I need something that will lessen my anxieties. As with all introverts, I feel more comfortable if I have a friend with me, or I know where the exits are, and sometimes I will show up late so I don't have to stick around for too long. I am not trying to be rude in these kind of moments, I just need to get back to something a little more quiet so I can recharge my introvert battery.

Although I am an introvert, I still crave interaction with others. I just crave it differently. I crave meaningful relationships and meaningful conversations. This is why I dislike small talk. Small talk is a superficial means of communication. The following is a passage about small talk explained by a blog dedicated to introverts.

"Unfortunately, our culture has deemed small talk a social necessity. Wikepedia even went so far as to describe it as a “social lubricant”, which makes it sound a whole lot more fun than it actually is.

Small talk is meant to be light and fun. It flees from depth and meaning. Personal questions are considered inappropriate. Likewise, any emotion besides happy or neutral is discouraged. Consequently, authenticity dies on the vine.

The truth is that small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other.

Instead of being light and fun, the conversation is flat and boring. It is like a game of chess where both players always know each other’s next move. It is a predictable exchange with predictable results.

For introverts, it is one of those annoying hurdles we must cross to get to the good stuff. We indulge in it hoping that we will meet someone who hates this formality as much as we do.

We wait for that brave soul who asks inappropriate questions and laughs at all the wrong times. We cling to the hope that our path will collide with someone who is unapologetically authentic. We are ever in search of people who crave depth over breadth."

Click here for complete article


I do not dislike people. I dislike small talk because it is the social equivalent of spinning your tires. as stated "Small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other." The meaningful conversation, the getting to know someone; does not happen with small talk.

This idea leads me to a personal challenge. Over the coarse of the week I am going to attempt to engage in more meaningful conversations. This could be when I am running errands, it could be at work, at church, with family and/or friends. The reason for doing this is so I get out of my comfort zone and get to know the people I come in contact with. I want to have authentic conversations that aren't predictable. I will do a follow-up post giving an account of what happened; until then wish me luck.

Oh and to the introverts out there reading this, please join me in this challenge. I would love to hear about your experiences.

Also, this is a phenomenal TED Talk on introverts. check it out.

The Power of the (Social Media) Dark Side

Recently HBO star Lena Dunham called Twitter, "The dark side of the internet." 

That idea got me thinking. While I somewhat agree with Lena, the idea is incomplete. I do not believe that Twitter is inherently bad, or that the entirety of Twitter is the dark side of the internet; there are several dark sides of the internet. ALL social media has a dark side. It's true that social media can be used for good, However it is that dark side that brings out the worst in people. In my experience there are three parts to the dark side of social media.

1. Feelings of inadequacy: How many of us are guilty of comparing ourselves to a friends Facebook post, or thinking our lives will never be like a Pinterest board.

2. Social media first; family and friends second: How much of our valuable time is spent checking Twitter, Facebook, Google+, or Pinterest? Now how much time is spent...intimately spent...with the people we love. DON'T EVER put your social media relationships in front of your real relationships.

3. Cyber-bullying: Some people justify hurtful comments on social media because there isn't a personal interaction. People become two-faced by being incentive and/or passive aggressive. What kind of comments are you leaving?

Use social media for good. Don't turn to the dark side.

Harry Potter Reboot

If they reboot Harry Potter in the next five years(ish), here is a list of actors I would like to see in it and some things I would like to see done differently in the movies.


CAST

Albus Dumbledore: Jude Law
I would love for a future reboot to feature a younger actor for the role of Dumbledore. I am not saying Dumbledore should be young, I am simply saying that the actor should be younger. Through makeup and special effects, they can make the actor look older.


Severus Snape: Benedict Cumberbatch
I would love to see Snape with a goatee, as described in the book.

Remus Lupin: JJ Feild

Sirius Black: Richard Armitage

Mad Eye Moody: Liam Neeson or David Morrissey

Voldemort: Michael Fassbender

Rubeus Hagrid: John Rhys-Davies

Quirinus Quirrell: Allan Cummings

Minerva McGonagall: Helen Mirren

Barty Crouch Junior: Matthew Goods

Aurthur Weasley: Martin Freeman

Gilderoy Lockhart: Sam Claflin
Lockheart needs to be younger, it was awkward when 12 year olds were crushing on a 42 year old Kenneth Branagh.

Madam Pomfrey: Jennifer Ehle

James Potter: Blake Ritson

Pomona Sprout: Carey Mulligan
Let's get some younger teachers at Hogwarts

Dolores Umbridge: Jane Seymour

Sybil Trelawney: Catherine Tate

Mr. Ollivander: Bernard Cribbins

Bellatrix Lestrange: Billie Piper


OTHER ODDS & ENDS

I have read the series multiple times, and while I think the movies did a nice job at telling the story, there are some things I would love to see done differently in a reboot:

• Who the Marauder's are
• A more in depth conversation between Harry and Dumbledore about the Horcruxes, ie, going into depth about how Tom Riddle would choose objects for his Horcruxes that are tied to his past and to Hogwarts.
• More memories in Half Blood Prince
• Take out the ball scene in Goblet of Fire (it took away from the rest of the story)
• Don't portray Hagrid and the Dursleys as complete idiots 
• Continuity between films
• Peeves
• The world cup
• I know the books take place in the 90's, but it might be cool if the movies tried a different era, like the late 1800's.

30 Lessons Thru 30 Years

I recently turned 30 and I'm kind of freaking out about it. It’s weird that not all NBA players are older than me. It’s weird that the highest grossing movie star of 2014, Jennifer Lawrence, is a 90’s baby, but most of all, it’s just weird that I’m 30.

My 20's had some great times and I achieved a lot. I served, (the majority of) an LDS mission, I got married, I graduated from college, I got my first career job, (and my second), and I went to Disneyland for the first time. I lived on the East Coast, Portland, Idaho, and Utah. There are too many good things to mention, but the list does go on.

My 20's also had some difficult times. One of my best friends died in a car accident, my Grandma passed away, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Sadly, the list also goes on, but the good times far outnumber the bad.

I have thought about what I have learned in 30 years. What kinds of things can I build upon. what kind of things can I share with others. Below is my list of 30 lessons I have learned in 30 years. I hope you enjoy.





1. ENJOY THE JOURNEY
Life will have many events to look forward to; graduations, parties, holidays, sports, weddings, vacations, and so much more. However, life has far more days that are filled with mundane routines and things we have to do, as opposed to things we want to do. If you want to find happiness in life, enjoy the journey, find something you enjoy on those mundane filled days, do things that will make you happy day after day.

From the movie The Music Man “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering.”

Live life to it’s fullest, make today worth remembering and enjoy the journey.


2. DON'T SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE THAT MAKE YOU FEEL WORTHLESS
There are bullies in the world, it’s not just a schoolyard thing, There are people that will make you feel worthless. When it happens, it can get under your skin and make you think twice about who you are. If you find yourself in this position, get out. This might mean you need to sit down with the person and work things out together, but sometimes you need to stop spending time with people that make you feel small and insignificant.

It isn't easy doing this. It could mean finding new friends, or changing your current situation, but it’s worth it. Life is too short to spend time with people that make you feel worthless. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and want you to succeed.


3. LIVE THE GOLDEN RULE


4. LOVE
“The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”
― Moulin Rouge.


5. GET OUT OF DEBT
Getting into debt is easy. In our society, we want the biggest TV, the nice car, the perfect house, name brand clothes, the latest technology; and we want it right now. Saving money has become a lost art. If someone wants something they just charge it to their credit card, or take out a loan. I am not saying credit cards and loans are bad, I have a credit card that I pay off, in full, every month, and I believe a modest mortgage loan or car loan are sometimes necessary.

Staying out of debt can be a challenge. It means sacrificing things you want and things you thought you needed. It means downsizing, and using your money smarter. You have to budget carefully and, if applicable, talk to your spouse frequently about your financial situation.

From (LDS) President J. Ruben Clark “Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation. Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.”

With the exception of a modest mortgage and a modest car loan, no material possession is worth going into debt over. Get out of debt and strive to live debt free.

Link to LDS talk “Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts”: http://bit.ly/1vMai6z


6. SAVING IS GREAT, BUT SPENDING CAN BE GOOD TOO
This title might sound contradictory to my last thought… let me explain. A friend gave me some wise advice. He said, “Traveling is one of the few things that you spend money on that makes you richer.”

I am an advocate of saving money and living within your means, however, sometimes money needs to be spent to make life richer. This could mean investing in education, spending money for a hobby, or (in the case of my friend) saving money to go on a nice vacation.

In other words, don’t squander your money, save it, live within your means, and, when the occasion arises, spend it on something of real value.


7. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY, EVEN IF IT SEEMS SILLY TO OTHERS
I love Legos. I collect sets and I build things from my imagination. Some people might think it’s silly that a 30 year old man still plays with Legos, but the fact of the matter is, Legos are a hobby that I enjoy.

Everyone has things they like that might seem silly to others. Be true to who you are and do things that you enjoy doing, even if it is a little silly. Respect others; if someone enjoys something that you find odd, don’t judge them, let them be who they are and let them enjoy what they want to enjoy.


8. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME DOING THINGS YOU DON'T ENJOY
On the flip side of “Doing things you enjoy.” Don’t do things you don’t enjoy. When I was growing up I would occasionally watch a football game and I would try to seem informed about football. It wasn't until high school that I realized I don’t like football. I still don’t know all the rules, and I find the sport extremely boring. In fact, according to a Wall Street Journal study of four recent broadcasts, and similar estimates by researchers, "In a typical 174 minute NFL broadcast, the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field is about 11 minutes." 11 minutes... What are they doing the other 163 minutes? Huddles, replays, commercials, and interviews.

OK, I’m off my soap box… The point is, I stopped wasting my time pretending I like something I didn’t. There is no shame in not liking something. Just because someone else likes it, doesn’t mean you have to. Live life doing things you enjoy doing.

Link to the Wall Street article: http://on.wsj.com/1BemlLL


9. TUNE OUT THE NAYSAYERS
There will always be people that say you can’t do something. Sometimes it could be your own doubts. If you want to do something, don’t listen to the naysayers. Believe in yourself and go after your dreams. It might take time, and it might be difficult, but if you are dedicated to something, it can become a reality, no matter what others say.


10. MAKE HEALTH A PRIORITY
Making health a priority doesn't mean no sweets and an hour a day at the gym, it means taking good care of your body. Eat your fruits and veggies, get off the couch and move around. You don’t have to be the fastest runner or the strongest person. If you take care of your body and make health a priority, you will have a higher quality of life now and (especially) when you get older.


11. GET MARRIED, BUT DON'T RUSH INTO IT
I don’t say this to boast, but I married well. I hope that everyone can be as happy in their marriage as I am in mine. Marriage is a blessing and a joy, Statistically married people live longer, are healthier, and are happier than their single counterparts. However, marriage is something that should be taken seriously. Don’t rush into marriage, and don’t let anyone tell you to speed up the process.


12. EDUCATE YOURSELF
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
― Nelson Mandela


13. BELIEVE IN SOMETHING


14. DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
Last year I went to my first real concert. The band was one of my favorites: Bastille. I was excited to see them live, but I was a little nervous about being packed in a crowded room with a lot of people. I get really uncomfortable around large groups of people, especially when that large group of people is sweaty and loud and rubbing shoulders with me.

When all was said and done however, the crowd didn’t bother me that much, and the concert was amazing. If I would have let the uncomfortable parts of the situation stop me from going to the concert, I would have missed out on a fun night, and one of the best shows I have ever been to.


15. CHANGE IS GOOD


16. READ
I didn’t always like reading. My Mom tried to get me excited about it, but it didn't interest me. But Harry Potter changed all that. Since I was introduced to Harry Potter, when I was about 16, I have enjoyed reading. Books are a portal to other worlds and they have helped me understand people of other faiths, races, and cultures. I believe it is good for the mind to read.

“If you don’t like to read, you haven’t found the right book.” ― J.K. Rowling


17. BE OPEN MINDED
People do things differently and enjoy different things; and that’s OK. Learn from these differences, be open minded about things that are foreign to you. Maybe someone will recommend a great book you never would have read, maybe someone does something a better way than you, maybe you will make a new friend that is (heaven forbid) different than you, or maybe you will try a fantastic cuisine that seems strange. Being open minded can provide a greater understanding of the world and the people around you. We are not all cut from the same mold, we all have our own experiences and personalities. You can become a well rounded individual by simply being open minded and trying new things.

Please note: being open minded does not mean giving up your personal standards and/or beliefs, stay true to yourself.


18. RESPECT YOURSELF


19. DON'T SCARE PEOPLE
Unless you work for a haunted house or are in a horror film, don’t do it.


20. PUT DOWN THE PHONE, DANG IT!
Smart phones are a great tool, but they can also distract you from relationships, responsibilities, and life. Next time you are with your friends and/or family, put your phone in a technology timeout. Play a game with someone, have a real conversation, pay attention to the people you are with, and live in the moment, not away from the moment.


21. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD


22. QUITTING DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FAILURE
Societies definition of the word “Quitting” would be better paired with the phrase “Giving up.” The Middle English definition of “quit” is to set free. I don’t view quitting as a negative thing; in my opinion, quitting means you have given something your very best, and you have nothing left to give; and in that moment it is appropriate to move on.


23. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID
Never hold back emotions and lock things inside, good or bad.


24. WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING, DRIVE
Careless drivers are often distracted drivers. When you get behind the wheel, driving should be your main focus. Careless or reckless driving endangers you and your passengers and other drivers on the road.

This principle also applies in life. Focus on what you are doing, if it’s family life, be with your family, if it’s work, do your work, if you're driving, drive. Don’t let things of less importance distract you from doing what you are doing; you might regret it later.


25. GIVE SERVICE
Service doesn't mean doing a service project, and it doesn't mean doing something for a stranger, although those kinds of service are great. Service can be holding the door open, or vacuuming without being told. Too often we look at service as a grandiose event, when really all it is, is lifting someone’s burden. Service can be simple, it can be spontaneous, and it can be something enjoyable.


26. DON'T PLAY THE GAME "KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES'"
Be an individual. Be yourself. Don’t pretend you're something you're not.


27. CALL PEOPLE BY THEIR NAME
Names are important. They are part of someone's identity. If someone goes by Nathan, don't assume they go by Nate, or if someone goes by Megan, don't assume they go by Meg. People tend to respond better when addressed by their name and calling someone by their name is a form of respect.


28. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SNOW, BUILD A SNOWMAN


29. LISTEN TO OTHERS
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.
― Bryant H. McGill


30. BE A BUILDER, NOT A WRECKER
As I watched them tear a building down
A gang of men in a busy town
With a ho-heave-ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and the side wall fell

I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.”

“I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself, as I went my way
Which of these roles have I tried to play'

Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan
Patiently doing the best I can'

Or am I a wrecker who walks to town
Content with the labor of tearing down?
“O Lord let my life and my labors be
That which will build for eternity!”

― Author Unknown